Lessons from tree life
The book ‘The Hidden Life of Trees’ by Peter Wohlleben, changed my ideas about trees. Like humans, trees live as communities. Tree parents nurture their children for several years (even up to 100 years). Trees know to bond, communicate, and even are good at learning. However, trees fared better than humans in nurturing the weakest and the struggling trees. When the trees grow together, nutrients and water are optimally divided so that each tree can grow into its best version. They could be only as strong as the forests that surround them. In the web of life, every organism is interdependent. We might have misinterpreted the survival of the fittest to suit ourselves. In nature, cooperation is a powerful survival strategy.
“‘A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.’ … And because they knew this intuitively, they[trees] do not hesitate to help each other out.” – Peter Wohlleben, German forest scientist and author
Inactive bystander
It feels all the more painful for someone to be harassed or bullied in front of inactive bystanders. Even a knowing glance from a bystander means a lot to the person being harassed.
Based on recent events, workplace toxicity can be prevalent even in the pockets of most inclusive organizations. Being a bystander to a toxic conversation at the workplace can be difficult. How bystanders respond can promote or demote such behaviors in the workplace. You could do any of these to help someone whom you witness being harassed, bullied, or disrespected
Distract: Find a way to break the interaction and de-escalate it by drawing the preparator’s attention away
Delegate: Get help from another colleague, Ask for support – “Can you help me stop this?”
Document: Document the incident witnessed and share it with the person you want to support
Deploy Empathy: Check in with the person who experienced the incident. “I witnessed what happened and I am here to help you”
Direct: Speak up and challenge what you felt about it was wrong
“What hurts the victim most is not the cruelty of the oppressor, but the silence of the bystander.” – Elie Wiesel, American writer, political activist, Nobel laureate, and Holocaust survivor
Get beyond coasting
Coasting is a term used to indicate that someone is playing it safe and not challenging enough. It is easy to stay on the spot or move around in comfortable areas. The real challenge happens when one has to dive deep into the real issues that they are unwilling to see. There is a natural resistance to leaving the coastline for the fear of getting lost in the depths. This can be overcome when working along with a coach who helps one navigate these internal barriers. For instance, Virat Kohli worked with coach Paddy Upton to explore perspectives that were eluding him. As Paddy Upton shared in an interview, Virat dared to ask himself “What can I do?” when things were not working for him. Being willing to be vulnerable, open, and ready for self-discovery can help one move away from coasting and get on to surf the large waves.
“Most athletes get to a point where there is a shift, not dissimilar to in business, where they have their midlife readjustments, where priorities start shifting. Our reasons for doing what we do change. We need to then regain perspective and reconnect with probably a new purpose.” – Paddy Upton, mental strengthening coach for the Indian cricket team