Accountability vs Blame
When something wrong happens, the first tendency is to blame someone. It could be parents blaming their children, employers blaming their employees, or the public blaming the government. The blame game has prevailed in every aspect of our lives. Blaming is quick but holding someone accountable is difficult. Holding someone accountable means work. It is about setting expectations and boundaries and explaining the consequences of not meeting them. Holding someone accountable also means we have to get involved unlike blaming where we can distance ourselves. Blaming can never address issues effectively but accountability can.
“Accountability breeds response-ability.” – Stephen R. Covey
Engaging on Social Media
A recent ugly war waged by the founder of a company on a social media platform shocked many people and drew criticism for what is known as ‘social media brawling’. Few things that I observed from such events are
- Negativity impacts our collective consciousness and gets attention much more than positivity
- Hatred and criticism by strangers on social media can be very hurtful and painful
- It is easier and quicker to get ugly, judgmental, and rude online than over face-to-face
Being present on social media and bringing your authentic self is a vulnerable thing to do. It helps if we are mindful that these are fleeting moments in the large spectrum of life and the online personas are mostly strangers, whether they are the founders of an enterprise or any ordinary person.
“Social media is something of a double-edged sword. At its best, social media offers unprecedented opportunities for marginalized people to speak and bring much-needed attention to the issues they face. At its worst, social media also offers ‘everyone’ an unprecedented opportunity to share in collective outrage without reflection.” – Roxane Gay
Timing in Coaching
Timing matters in coaching engagement. For a coach, it is about managing the timing of probing, giving feedback, or diving into an area that a coachee has touched upon. Dr. Ana Lueneburger, CEO coach talks about the significance of timing through an anecdote she shares in her book Unfiltered. Having made an initial observation of her client’s rough edges in her initial interaction, she chose to bring it up as an observation and offer it only at the right time when the client was ready to receive it. Even though she had the data and could have challenged her client, she restrained her impulse and considered the right moment and space. Sensitivity to time and space is essential for not only building the client relationship but also creating moments for the coachee to reflect and see themselves more clearly.
“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” – Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace