Mimesis of ambitions
French philosopher René Girard stated that human desires are mimetic, or imitative. It meant that what we covet is pure imitation of others’ desires, not based on personal preferences. It leads to conflict and rivalry. Our career ambitions may be mimetic in the corporate world, especially in the early and mid stages. Living and pursuing other’s dreams can get exhausting. This explains why some people struggle midway or switch streams to pursue what they feel passionate about. Just like our life stories are unique, so are our career journeys. When we fail to see this, we look outside rather than inward for our next destination.
“Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others” – Roy T Bennet, Author of The light in the heart
Calm is contagious
In the early days of my career, I worked on high-stakes projects. Despite a lot of urgency and time pressure, we never felt the pressure as a team. Looking back, I realized one important factor was the manager who had excellent EQ and stayed calm in the storm. He was sharp in thinking but slow in his response. Calmness is contagious. A calm person’s presence in a heated argument can de-escalate the situation. However, calmness is achieved through preparedness and internal awareness of one’s own emotions. It comes through the practice of micro-moments in day-to-day life. Next time the situation escalates try involving the calm person in the discussion to cool things off.
“Calm is Contagious.” – Rorke Denver, US Navy SEALS Commander and public speaker
Coaching the person
Some believe that their personal lives do not impact their work lives. They think they are operating as two distinctive personas. However, when they work with a coach, they realize the distinction is an illusion. Everyone brings their behavioral and emotional patterns which were adapted from their family life to their work life. Family is the first system or organization unit that anyone gets associated with. Adaptive and maladaptive patterns are learned as a child to survive in the family which is brought to work life. A coach helps the person become aware of these patterns and helps them see how it plays out in their professional world impacting their work life. It is the person who gets coached irrespective of what role they are playing.
“We get stuck in old thought and behavior patterns that may have been effective when we were twelve months or twelve years old, but now only serve to hold us back.” – Neil Strauss, Author