Leadership is not about fixing people. It is about creating a space for them to be their best selves in the moment. Many step into leadership roles because of their sharp problem-solving skills. But they become a leader when they stop seeing people as problem to be solved.
From fixer to listener
Mark’s growth was rapid. Known for his lightning-fast solutions, he rose quickly to lead a consulting practice. Clients admired his intellect, but his team felt overshadowed. At home, his problem-solving hat never came off. He told his teenage daughter and wife what they “should” do. Resentment grew. His team resisted. His daughter rebelled.
Mark thought he had to fix others. His wake-up call was when his daughter locked him out of her room. He was shaken. Luckily, Mark had a mentor in whom he confided.
Mentor: “What do you think is really happening here?”
Mark: “I’m only trying to help people change for the better.”
Mentor: “What if they don’t want you to fix them? What if they want to be heard and seen instead?”
Mark realized he wasn’t just solving problems—he was trying to make others be like him. That insight changed everything.
Mark began listening to understand rather than to instruct. He paused, asked questions, and allowed others to find their own answers. His team felt relief. His daughter opened up. Relationships deepened.
Mark’s journey from fixer to listener required him to let go what he cherished the most about himself.
Leadership is not about fixing people. Leadership is a journey of discovery about yourself and others. When you stop fixing, people start flourishing.
For your reflection
- Who are you becoming if you’re not the problem-solver?
- How can you enable others to discover their own solutions?
“People don’t resist change. They resist being changed.” — Peter Senge