Feeling successful
Even the most well-accomplished people can feel defeated. Why should someone feel so even after winning? It could be because
(1) The price they paid to win in one area may be too high at the expense of other areas of life
(2) They won but not on their terms
(3) They had hoped to experience something else after winning but it did not happen e.g. earning someone’s respect or admiration
(4) They may be afraid of failing next time or worried about future performance
While you think hard about winning, consider how you want to feel about your win. Sometimes, you may want to choose how to win and for what to win
“The glory is being happy. The glory is not winning here or winning there. The glory is enjoying practicing, enjoy every day, enjoying to work hard, trying to be a better player than before.” – Rafael Nadal, World tennis champion
Charisma
Charisma is a sought-after leadership trait. The popular misbelief suggests that specific physical and personality traits make one charismatic. In reality, others perceive charisma in someone who demonstrates high commitment to goals, emotional appeal, and self-confidence. Any leader can demonstrate these. Instead of worrying about not having an Ivy League background or an impeccable leadership style, focus on enhancing your purpose and determination, demonstrate drive, and communicate this effectively to those you wish to lead.
“Being a leader gives you charisma. If you look and study the leaders who have succeeded, that’s where charisma comes from, from the leading.”= Seth Godin, American author, entrepreneur, and speaker
Unsolicited advice
Would we want people to advise us even if we don’t ask for it? Usually, we don’t.
Yet, sometimes we still give unsolicited advice without being asked which can be off-putting for others. In our effort to be helpful, we fail to realize that we don’t know their real problems. The urge to offer such help comes from our inadequacy of not knowing how to deal with other’s pain. One way of doing this better is by asking two questions
- What would you like to do about it?
- How can I be of help to you?
Sometimes, the best way to help someone is to refrain from immediately trying to fix their problem.
“There is a time to provide advice and offer an opinion, and there is a time not to. Don’t be too quick to offer unsolicited advice. It certainly will not endear you to people.” — Harvey MacKay, 7-time NY Times best-selling author and American Businessman