FOPO
We are living in FOPO: fear of other people’s opinions. It is evident in my recent interactions, both at the professional and personal levels, where people attribute why they do or do not do certain things. As I reflected, I realized it comes from a deep sense of insecurity about the loss of love and respect from others. You perhaps love yourselves only based on how much others love or respect you. This forces you to be extremely self-vigilant and self-critical. It blocks your gifts like courage, creativity, and spontaneity. Your energy is sapped. One way to unblock from FOPO is to question yourself:
‘Whose opinions am I deeply concerned about?’
‘Will they ever truly notice?’
‘Do they really care for my welfare?’
It is worth ignoring the FOPO for those who may not truly care to know you.
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” – Steve Jobs, American Businessman, Inventor, and Investor
Patience in the ‘when’
There are situations in life when you do not know how long to wait. It could be for your next break in your career, meeting your life partner, or going back to your loved ones. Such waiting can be excruciating when there is no sign of hope. However, it is also essential to glue yourself to reality to know when to move on. This is a delicate balance of paradox also known as Stockdale Paradox. When it is a fight between faith that you will prevail and discipline to see the facts, it is the honesty to yourself that can save you.
“Sometimes things aren’t clear right away. That’s where you need to be patient and persevere and see where things lead.” _ Mary Pierce, Retired French tennis pro
Step out of yourself
Sometimes it is important to step out of yourself. It becomes hard when things are not going your way. Your natural tendency is to get deeper into your issues and delve into them. Rather you might do yourself good by momentarily stepping out of yourself. The best way to step out of yourself is to volunteer to help someone. Helping others takes away the attention from your problems to others’. Altruism is helpful to oneself and to others.
“Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Every day do a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone’s face.” – Dale Carnegie