Help yourself first
What does a flight attendant say when announcing safety instructions? “Before you help someone, help yourself.” Unfortunately, many people experience compassion fatigue. A parent may neglect their well-being to meet their child’s needs. A caregiver may prioritize an ailing patient’s comfort at the expense of their personal needs. You mental, physical, and emotional well-being matters if you want to help someone effectively and sustainably.
“In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel ‘burnout’ setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective.” – Dalai Lama
Desire to impress others
The desire to impress others is futile and manifests in various forms with unintended consequences.
It hinders your wealth – You spend more than necessary
It obstructs your growth – You chase someone else’s career aspirations
It compromises your health – You exhaust energy and time to appear perfect in another’s eyes
It undermines your happiness – You dwell too much on others’ opinions of you
This desire has no end, only assured misery in its pursuit.
“Care about people’s approval, and you will be their prisoner.” — Lao Tzu
Connect the dots
When you connect the dots backwards it will tell you a different story. Ask ‘HOW’ five times for every good outcome that has occurred. It reveals insights you may not have otherwise recognized. These could be the strengths you deployed at the right time, the people who guided or helped you, or the challenges that led you to make key decisions. By connecting the dots backwards, you embrace life’s randomness and difficulties with grace.
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” — Steve Jobs