Seeing beings
It is human nature to notice and register the most distinguishing aspect of someone. This has its own drawbacks as we tend to make snap judgements about others. These are rapid automatic associations that are in a way unconscious and also isolating us from others. Neuroscientist Rick Hanson teaches a mindfulness practice called ‘See Beings, Not Bodies, to perform when you meet someone for the first time.
- Recall the other roles that they might be playing like mother, son, spouse, neighbor, movie buff, sports person, etc.
- Notice the less noticeable things in them
- Identify your own complexities within you and imagine how they could also be experiencing the same
To notice people without judgment and appreciate the complexity of being human is in a way a form of meditation.
“When one travels around the world, one notices to what an extraordinary degree human nature is the same, whether in India or America, in Europe or Australia.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti
Taking action
She kept thinking of going for a run and it did not happen
He kept thinking of returning that call and it did not happen
They kept thinking of asking for help and they never asked
We want to do numerous things, but we keep contemplating. What if we simply acted instead of thinking about action?
We overestimate the need for motivation before we act. We underestimate how easily our feelings would transform if we just took action.
“Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.” – W Clement Stone
Meta emotions
I start my coaching sessions with a simple question – ‘How are you feeling now?’. The question invites my coachees to look within and respond to how they are feeling and thinking, at the moment. What usually comes out is not their feelings but how they feel about their feelings. These are Meta emotions which are usually protective especially if the initial feelings are painful. By getting in touch with their feelings and emotions, the coachee gets to uncover the storylines and anxieties that stop them from moving ahead. Meta emotions are the windows to the inner world of a person.
“In us, there is a river of feelings, in which every drop of water is a different feeling, and each feeling relies on all the others for its existence.” – Thich Nhat Hanh