Your presence matters
Ever felt like an outsider in a group? You feel lost and disconnected. You ask yourself, “What am I doing here?” Most of them echo your feelings by being distant. It validates that you don’t belong to this group. But here is what you don’t get to see. Your presence might have
- Given someone a quiet sense of safety.
- Made the group more mindful of how they treat each other.
- Nudged someone to think in a different way.
Your presence matters, even though you may not realize it, and others may not acknowledge it. The space shifted because you were in it.
“To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.” — Dr. Seuss
Self advocacy
Mary put her head down and worked hard.
She completed her duties to perfection.
She never asked for a hike or promotion.
She believed hike and growth will come to her as she truly deserves it. So, she waited.
Jack worked hard too but he didn’t cling to the rules.
He ensured his work was seen.
He made sure people above his boss knew that he delivered.
He believed he should ask for what he truly deserved. So, he did.
Mary and Jack acted out their beliefs.
The world responded to their actions.
Mary kept waiting, and Jack got his hike.
Your belief isn’t enough. You have to act on what you think you deserve.
“In life, you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate. So don’t be afraid to ask – the worst you can hear is ‘no’.” – Christine Tsai
Emotional distancing
You get so busy running your rat race that you don’t notice that new patterns have developed in your relationships, mainly with your life partner.
There is less dancing and laughter.
More work talk and more pressure.
Vacations feel mechanical.
Days feel like a productivity boot camp.
Then one day, you realize that something is amiss. You both are running parallel lives, slowly drifting apart, trying hard to merge at some point. That’s when you both say, “You are not the same person anymore.” Emotional distancing creeps in unnoticed. It needs no conflict, just the pace of living is enough.
“The more we fill our lives with noise and speed, the less we are able to hear the quiet truths of our hearts.” — John O’Donohue