Author name: Vijayshree S Menon

Making a new friend Someone told me that it is very hard to make new friends once you reach a certain age. I believed it to be true until recently I began to question it. I tried to test my assumption while I was on my travel by connecting with someone I knew only as …

Making a new friend | Proximity | Light pollution Read More »

Psychological independence Relationships are healthy when there is psychological independence. It involves not needing others, giving them space to be and to grow as people. However, our human societies insist on us being psychologically dependent on others and equate it to feelings of love, respect, and loyalty. It is not only prevalent in families but …

Psychological independence | Three-Legged rabbit | Limited time Read More »

Go slow to go fast While helping my niece with her math problems, I noticed a pattern where she made more mistakes when she hurried to solve the problems. She argued that she wouldn’t be able to complete her exam and hence would lose marks. She failed to see that in her hurry to solve …

Go slow to go fast | Phantom limb | Learning fearlessness Read More »

Breaking rules When I started my career, I was on the conventional bench for a couple of months. One day, I raised my concern in an open forum to the senior management much to the chagrin of my ‘mentor’ who felt annoyed that he would be blamed for not ‘teaching me’ anything. Two good things …

Breaking rules | Managing upwards | Lessons from a swami’s journey Read More »

Creative constraints Constraints need not stifle our progress. Sometimes, they help us shape our uniqueness and ingenuity. Few people know how to leverage constraints to their favor. Dr. Govindappa Venkataswamy (Dr. V), founder of Aravind Eye Hospital is someone who demonstrated ingenuity, innovation, and vision by having self-imposed constraints. The Not-for-profit organization aimed to keep …

Creative constraints | Failing to lead | Real experience Read More »

Negative reinforcement Recently, while trying to understand incentives, I came across negative reinforcement. Negative reinforcement is not the same as punishment. The focus of negative reinforcement is the removal of something unpleasant in our experience that aims to reinforce the desired behavior. I realized negative reinforcement on many occasions unconsciously influenced my actions. For instance, …

Negative reinforcement | Negotiating salaries | False expertise Read More »

Moving away from rigidity As we age, we become stiff both physically and mentally. It is not only our muscles and bones that become rigid, but also our little egos and identities that lose their fluidity. We like to think this is who we are and this is how we will be till we reach …

Moving away from rigidity | Bonding with strangers | Context vs Environment Read More »